Where To Go

England! Because who needs good food?  

That’s unfair, a totally lame cheap shot. I love England. The food can be good, I’m told – and I'll eat the heck out of a fish and chip. And drink plenty of local ale.  

As a travel destination for kids, it has many charms. I’ll admit, I’m on shakier ground when I discuss it, having been there only once (whereas I’ve been to France several times). But ignorance of the finer details has never stopped me from making summary judgments in the past, and it won’t stop me here. 

England has some of the similar features of France, in so far that travel to its capital city (London, btw) is an excellent choice for children. I know this from specific experience, since I was taken there as a boy – 7 or 8 at the time – and I still remember a few bits of our stay (3 days). And that was before they added stuff like The Eye. There are enough iconic experiences to keep any kid entertained and interested; I vividly remember Buckingham Palace (though it’s a bit of a let-down for a kid, I think, it looks a lot like a fancy admin building). I remember that I fed the ducks in the park. I remember double decker busses. And I remember how odd it was that the English put milk in their tea.  

The point is, the trip will be memorable to your kids, and not just for the big stuff, like Big Ben and the Tower. They’re bound to pick up on the little differences between us and them, whereas the differences between us and, say, Italians could be a bit overwhelming. 

On top of that, London is an hour closer than most other Euro destination – hey, 7 hours in a plane is probably better than 8 (though not necessarily, I’ll have more on that in a later post, too). And being able to speak English with anyone and not get the Parisian stink-eye is often helpful.  If I’m grading London as a family destination, I go A. Books and movies are too many to list (Mary Poppins, Peter Pan, Sherlock Holmes), though I’ll always have a soft spot for Paddington. Play some Beatles for your youngsters – Yellow Submarine, especially. 

Though surely you want to go further afield than London? England has a lot to explore (I’ll cover Scotland in a later post). That’s where I think you run into the same problem as with France. England is loaded with countryside and charm, which is wonderful for adults. I certainly would go to Highclere Castle, yet I think my kids would only have a mild interest. This I know from our family trip to the Biltmore; the petting zoo and ice cream were the main attractions for them.  

The added trouble, for me, is the driving. I’m pretty comfortable with twisty Italian roads or the roaring Autobahn, however the whole left-hand side driving thing...I’m not really sure how my reflexes and driving instinct would react in case of a sudden danger. Instead of swerving left, to the roadside, I could swerve right, into oncoming traffic. It’s enough to give some pause. But only some. You're ready to go, so:

Kent/Sussex, A. Easily reachable as day trips from London, if you must, it's chock full of great places. Start in Canterbury (having read this with your kids) and work west: cliffs of Dover, and Hastings for a real history lesson. Peter Jackson set Hobbiton in New Zealand, but I suspect a better location for the Shire would have been South Downs. Make time for the quaint, half-timbered houses of Rye, and then to Brighton for ice cream and a carnival atmosphere. On to Portsmouth for and the great old ships. That’s as good a week as you can have. 

Cornwall, B-. I'm fascinated by the Celtic stone circles; in the end...they're stone circles. Tintagel, for all it's ghostly glory, is still just a ruin unless you have the Arthurian context. And my kids aren't quite old enough to watch Excalibur. 

Bath, B-. Do you think you can explain "Georgian architecture" to your kids? Me neither. Salisbury and Stonehenge are in the area; you can't even get up to Stonehenge anymore, so what's the point? I'd find the whole thing depressing.  

Oxford, the Cotwolds, Stratford, B. Punting on the river? I'm in! With some luck, your kids may fallin love with Oxford so much that they make it a mission to study there. If they fall short, they can still go to Chicago. The Cotswolds is a little too scenic and cute for kids, if you ask me, and Stratford...well, there's not a really good Shakespeare for Kids out there, so you're taking your chances. All this seems pretty grown-up to me. 

Midlands, C+. I'm talking about Liverpool, Manchester, and Birmingham. I think it's probably like vacationing in Pittsburgh – nothing wrong with that, you may love it. But if you're going to England, there are better places. Blackpool boosts this destination by a whole letter grade, for kids. Probably not my first choice, either. 

Lake District, A. Prettiest spot in England. So pretty any kid will have to like it, in some fashion. Secret weapon? Start throwing Wordsworth at the little dears. Or Beatrix Potter. I long to see Hadrian's Wall, but it's not like it's an actual wall – it's a long grassy hill. Kids won't care, unless you really sell how fierce the Scots were.  

Yorkshire, B. You're getting some serious castles, abbeys, manors, and ruins here. And a dose of Viking history. Not as scenic as the Lake District, though, depending on taste. Maybe you'll love the Moors. I think it's too subtle for a lot of kids.  

I prefer France, indeed, but in a perfect world, I wouldn't have to make a choice. I'm saving England for when my boys turn 12. 

If England and France are so wonderful, then why do I keep going back to Italy? La Dolce Vita, of course. Italy is lush and lovely and has 2500 years of culture to permeating the ground. It has my favorite style of food (I’m a pasta lover), and has Gelato all over the place. If some genie offered me the following deal: you get an annual trip to Italy, for free, every year, but it’s the only place in Europe you can go – well, I’d have a hard time passing that up.

Italy is a great destination during the Spring Break period. March in Northern Europe is a dreary affair – 45 and drizzly, with nothing in bloom. By contrast, Italy is shaking off the winter and, though the trees will still be bare in the north, you can at the least expect comfortable temperatures for walking. South of Rome the climate is nearly tropical by then. So for those of us constrained to travel by the school calendar, Italy makes an ideal Spring Break destination. A major advantage there is cost, which I’ll cover later: Spring flights and lodging are generally cheaper than summer.

Unlike England or France, though, I consider the capital, Rome, to be the lesser of Italy’s great family destinations. B+, in my book. It has the iconic locations – the Colosseum & St. Peters, to start. The Pantheon to a lesser degree (its size is impressive by itself, but more because of how intact it is, for its age). Rome has gelato, and lots of it. It has plenty of street pizza. And a Mascarpone Pie at Pizza Est Est Est that was delicious.

It also has ruins, and lots of them. I love ruins. Some ruins are tangibly evocative and compelling, I especially think of Jumièges Abbey in Normandy. Many of the Roman ruins, though, require a good deal of knowledge and even more imagination. I think of the Forum, mostly: outlines of buildings in the ground, and the patch of stone where Caesar may or may not have been stabbed. Many kids wouldn’t easily be able to conjure it all up, though you can show them Ben Hur and see what happens (I’m not screening Gladiator for my boys for a few more years).

And that’s the point – I take Rome as an adult destination. Just look at the iconic movies set there: La Dolce Vita, The Bicycle Thief, Roman Holiday. You have to know something about life to really enjoy Rome. My recommendation: wait until your kids are in college, and invite them for a cocktail at the Hassler. Then send them off on their own way – backpacks and hostels -- while you and yours contemplate the Spanish Steps.

For the rest of the tour, I’ll start South. I think Sicily, C+, is a tough sell; poorer tourist amenities and a lack of “wow” destinations keep it off my list. There are better places for beaches.

Naples, B-, fares only a little better. Yes, it’s the birthplace of pizza, and the harbor is supposed to be spectacular, but I’m not dragging my kids up a volcano. And I’m still freaked out, at 44, by the plaster cast people in Pompeii, I don’t think my kids need that.

Apuglia, B+. The heel of the boot. Less traveled, but from what I’ve read, folks rave about this area. It’ll have nice beaches, secluded coves, and pretty towns. A refined and relaxed trip, the road less traveled. I could be talked into an A- here.

Amalfi, A-. The glamorous shin of the boot. Colorful settlements clinging precariously to the side of a coastal cliff. You really can’t go wrong here, unless you have a tighter budget or are there in the high season (beach space gets crowded). There, towns and beaches are the sights: and Rome is close enough if you want to split the trip. If your kid is fidgety, they may need the diversion after a few days.

Sardinia, C+. No.

Tuscany, A. I speak from experience here. Our kids loved it, and us adults had plenty to do, too. Some of it touristy – note that the age limit for going up the Leaning Tower of Pisa is 8, but it’s worth it.  Kids will respond to the art of Florence, just don’t overload them. We plopped ours in front of the Birth of Venus and had then contemplate the details. They also remember well the Laocoon in the Uffizi – why not, it’s a guy being eaten by snakes. And, the David (be prepared, though, for sniggers about his butt). We managed hill-top towns and secondary cities like Lucca – rent bikes and circle the city walls. You can even make it as far as Umbria, too. Only the Duomo failed to impress, but we didn’t make it up to the top. And do yourself a favor, stay with Bill and John.

Northern Italy, B. Milan, Bologna, Verano, Modena…I’ve had fine times in all of those places. Design, food, opera, sports cars (in that order): if your kids are into those, give it a try. Milan is a very convenient airport for US flights, so feel free to give it a couple of days. And it has the Last Supper painting (by appointment only). Still, Tuscany is so, close by, why wouldn’t you go there instead?

Venice, A. When I was a kid, I’d sometimes look out my window and imagine that the blacktop street was really all water. I imagined diving out of my second story window; taking a boat to the park. And that’s Venice. It’s not for everyone, and after a couple of days it does actually become a bit of a hassle. And the food is sub-par. But the first two days are like nothing else, young and old alike. The best 110 Euros I ever spend was the water taxi ride down the Grand Canal. Stop here if you at all can.

Italian Alps, B. They shot the Stallone movie Cliffhanger in the Dolomites because those mountains are famously tall and steep. It’s a sight to see, no doubt, and the Germanic feel of Tyrolia is charming. It belongs more in the tour of Austria, the region is not very accessible from the south. The lakes Como and Maggiore  have more spectacular scenery, but its slower pace calls for an empty nest trip.

Piedmont/Ligura, A-. Go see the Cinque Terre before they start restricting visitors. Make sure your kids are in hiking shape, though. The rest of the Ligurian coast is indeed more adult than not, though seaside gelato soothes any whiney tot. Columbus has fallen out of fashion, but I still celebrate him, and Genoa is the place to do it.

Whenever I start thinking of a European trip, Italy is always on the table. Always.

I had some colleagues from Spain come to visit us the other day, and over lunch I asked them about travel. I wondered aloud if Madrid was as kid-friendly a destination as Barcelona was; their reply was that they’d heard this same thought several times before. Their take was that Barcelona must have better marketing in the US, because they thought Madrid was an excellent choice for a family destination.

Perhaps. Marketing certainly comes into play. For those of my generation, our first exposure to Barcelona probably came with the 1992 Olympics, far and away the best games ever held. Communism was defeated, and we didn’t have to worry about nuclear war or boycotts. All teams were at full strength, but everyone was friendly. Barcelona was colorful, sunny and warm, in contrast to Seoul’s concrete and neon. And the young, fit, and trim athletes basically spent two hedonistic weeks on the beach, occasionally pausing their carnal activities to run a race or something. It was the Olympics that featured The Dream Team and, specifically, Charles Barkley, quote machine, absolutely owning Las Ramblas .

Barcelona still retains its title as the best destination for college kids looking to spend an exotic yet familiar semester abroad, or a boozy summer busking for Euros on the corner and partying well into the morning. But I can say first-hand that Barcelona is also a terrific destination for a family. As mentioned in my quick-hitter on cathedrals, Sagrada Familia is a phenomenal sight, and who knows, it could even be finished sometime this century. Park Gruell is a charming spot for kids to play. The Joan Miro museum, overlooking the city, is bound to spark interest in any child, with its funky and colorful images and sculptures. The Gothic Quarter is mysterious and medieval, and don’t skip the Food Market (Mercado Central) on Las Ramblas, with all kinds of unusual meats – organs, mostly -- and seafood.  

The Barcelona food is fairly touristy (you can't avoid the "Barcelona Bomba"), but that can be fun for kids. Meal timing represents a problem, assuming you don’t want to keep your kids up past 9:00, but then again, you can make a virtue of it, especially if you have jet-lag. Shift bed-time to 11:00pm, 4:00 CST, and you’ll have less of an adjustment going to and coming back.

And, if all else fails, spend time on the beach. Seems like a waste to me, frankly, I find US beaches to be as good as they come.

Barcelona generally has good connections to the US – there’s a direct from ATL – and if you’re lucky, you may get a cheap fare. I call it an easy A.

Where does that leave Madrid? For all of Barcelona’s obvious charms, it has a tourist quality that it can’t easily shake. It’s also more cosmopolitan, naturally, as a sea port. Madrid is more authentically Spanish (whatever that may be: perhaps I should say “more authentically Castillan,” which is what we associate with Spain). The Prado is one of the top five museums in Europe, and Madrid has plenty of green space to play in.

It also strikes me as more mature. Barcelona is whimsical, while Madrid is serious. Barcelona can be enjoyed in a weekend; Madrid takes a month to unfold. If you’re going to Madrid, you’d best know someone there: you’ll need a key to open this city up. Once done, I’d say it’s delightful, but subtle. Save it for later. With kids, it’s: B.

Madrid’s kid v. adult issues extend to the rest of the Iberian peninsula – I include Portugal in on this, which is highly unfair, but what are they gonna do? They stopped being a naval power 400 year ago.

The major remaining Spanish sites lie in the South, and consist of the remains of the Moorish rule – Al Hambra and Cordoba, in particular, along with Seville. The architecture here is colorful and exotic, and represents the high point of an advanced civilization. You’ll do well here with your kids; they’ll appreciate just how different this is. I would not take them to a bullfight, but you could. A bit further south and you reach Gibraltar. Read the tales of Ulysses, Scylla and Charybdis, before getting there: each was supposed to be perils on either side of the rock. A-.

I shouldn’t skip Valencia, and you shouldn’t either: in some ways I’d say it’s better than Barcelona, certainly less touristy. It has beaches, gardens, medieval buildings and roman ruins and all that, and also the way cool City of Arts and Sciences. As a jaded taxpayer, you may view these buildings as government spending run amok, and the architecture will probably look as dated in 15 years as Brasilia looks now, but your kids will see it as Tomorrowland. A.

Go north to Bilbao if you want better food. It has the landmark Guggenheim Museum – not quite my bag, architecturally, but a sight to see none the less, and I certainly understand its importance. I rank this with Madrid: grown-up pleasures. B.

Portugal. We tend to forget them, hanging out at the boot end of Europe, but they lay claim to having shaped world history in a way few others have. For better or for worse (I call in the “better” camp, but that’s easy for me to say).

Like every “little brother”, Portugal has had to be tough and scrappy to assert its independence. In this case, big brother is Spain – Castillan, mostly – who managed to assert peninsular control over the Basques and Catalans, but not the Portuguese. You’ll see that in the architecture – plenty of castles like Pombal, Tomar, Belver and Almourol. Many of those are inland, though, and you’ll really want to be by the sea. Portugal has stunning scenery – steep cliffs falling to sandy beaches, colorful fishing towns, luxurious manors. A week in Portugal will cover the main cities of Lisbon and Porto, both worth seeing, along with side trips to places like Sintra and Evora. You can drag your kids to a vineyard or two, if you’d like. And since the water faces west, you’ll get spectacular sunsets just about anywhere. In some ways, Portugal is too romantic to be wasted on a family trip; save it for your 25 anniversary. But don’t let that stop you no, you can always go back. A-.